Being Present.. The Why and The How

Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash

There’s a pandemic no one is talking about..lack of focus, lack concentration, absent-mindedness, inadvertence.

What’s causing it? Why is it happening? What can we do about it?

Let’s find out.

Presence is being conscious and tuned in to the present moment, with no other conscious or peripheral thought. Being completely focused and engaged.

Let’s get dramatic for a moment. Imagine you are walking by a dense forest and you suddenly encounter a wild animal. All your senses will immediately clue in, your entire focus will be on the animal, and there will be no other thought than the thought of survival. Right?

Yet so many accidents happen when people cross the road looking at their phones or driving while being on a call. So why are we not present at that moment? On an epistemological level, it has something to do with us living our lives without being concerned about our mortality and hence we stop focusing on our moments.

On a more base level, our modern problem can be traced back to the availability of more distractions and a certain misaligned notion of productivity.

Constantly working on our laptops and using our phones; such digital distraction greatly affects our focus. It’s not just the tools but the fact that we have normalized our digital addiction. Hence you see managers expecting employees to be available 24*7 on phones. So much of official communication is now on WhatsApp and such platforms and immediate replies are expected. So even if you want to sparingly use such tools, your environment is becoming a hindrance.

Speaking of environments, your digital social environment and the constant need to upload pics, waiting for validation, tweeting out ideas, and the constant need, to remain relevant contributes a great deal to the problem.

The result;

It takes longer to get any work done because rarely do we engage in deep work. Deep work or achieving the flow state occurs only when the mind is completely locked on to the task at hand.

Alright, here’s an experiment. Pick up a book. Start reading it. Track the number of pages you covered. Now be intentional about it. Make an effort to clue in your focus completely to the ideas in the book. It’s a struggle initially. But keep going. After some time your mind resets and gives in. This is the state where you will peruse through complex ideas in a jiffy. Now you are reading with all your senses.

One of the worst ways this lack of presence manifests is in relationships, in conversations. We lack meaningful relationships these days and a major reason is we are always distracted. We have stopped listening intently. When you are present, you hear more than the words. You hear the emotions, the unmet needs, and desires, the need of the human soul to connect with you.

And what do you do? You constantly get distracted with notifications on your phone and project indifference by passively browsing your phone.

This also causes anxiety. The need to be somewhere else, the abstract fear of missing out on some conversation, the need to stay updated. Isn’t there an itch to just pick up the phone for no damn reason? This is a classic addition. As someone who was an active smoker, I can tell you that most times the itch to have the cigarette in my hand was more than the desire to smoke it. The same is happening with the phone.

So what can you do about this? I say this not from a place of advice but a place of sharing. I intend to be more present and these are things that have worked well for me in the past and these are the things I intend to work upon keenly.

So

1. Avoidance of conflicting senses: You enjoy music enormously more with your eyes closed. You will better understand the things said in a podcast when you close your eyes and block all other distractions. You will write better when you avoid any digital distraction…so keep your phone away, locked up. I don’t rely on airline mode. If it’s close to me, I would reach out and once that happens, it takes moments to be back online. So keep it out of reach. When interacting, and its basic manners, that you keep your phone tucked away on silent mode in your bag. You will experience an interaction that will blow your mind..the clarity, the understanding will surprise you.
2. Set strong intentions: While using apps to stay focused might seem like an easy solution, it’s not a reliable solution. If you have used any such app, you would know that it functions as it’s meant to and yet we fail. Why? Because the intention is not strong enough. SO, as you set upon a task or begin an interaction, set a strong intention that you would not entertain any distractions before you are done with the activity. This small act helps to establish control over your monkey brain for the desired period. Over some time, this turns into a habit. And with each time, the will becomes stronger.
3. Develop Mindfulness: Being mindful is being conscious and being aware. When we are aware and conscious, we experience every act deeply and extensively. You can become more mindful through the act of meditation. I identify banal and regular tasks; tasks that I don’t pay much attention to; for example, I am typing away on my keyboard without any kinaesthetic awareness of how the keys feel. So I will stop for a moment and use my sense of touch to feel the keyboard with my fingers. That immediately brings my mind to the actual act of typing, an act that otherwise was just a means to an end. Or stop often during the day to contemplate on my breath. Breathing, an act that we take for granted unless we are made to realize that it’s a grant that helps us to act.
4. Say no to Multi-Tasking: Many years ago, I was once ridiculed in a job interview for not being a multi Tasker. I had said it takes away from my focus and dilutes quality. Today, most studies have confirmed that notion. Multi-tasking takes away from focus and it doesn’t allow you to devote the attention that the current activity should receive from you.

Being present in all your affairs not only improves the quality of your life but also drastically improves and nourishes your mind and soul. With all the distractions, we have stopped enjoying the wonderful gifts of nature and the wonderful gift of our senses. We rarely take a breather to stop and admire but we hurry to do more. Being present will allow you to take back control over that perpetually edgy and anxious mind.

Stay Present.