Self Deprecation is Crushing your Soul

“Would you punch yourself

in a street fight, Mr. Burgess?

No, sir.

Then don’t punch yourself in a word fight.

You don’t have to make fun of yourself.

Use your humor against your opponent.”

Self deprecation is normalised. Some say it’s an attractive trait. Some say its humility. But it’s pretty bad for you.

Self-deprecation is the act of reprimanding oneself by belittling, undervaluing, disparaging oneself, or being excessively modest. It arises from a place of neediness, to be liked.

But how does it work? A self deprecating joke can put others at ease. They come across less as a competition and incapable of any threat. Hence, it’s easy to like them.

The way it works is basically to lower your esteem to make the insecure more comfortable. When you hide yourself behind those funny jokes, and get the necessary likes, praise, company..it validates your actions and you are stuck in a spiral of self deprecation.

Likability is important..but not at the cost of your esteem. Research says it can often reflect low self-esteem and is associated with depression and anxiety. Your words have the power to shape you. When you break into a self belittling joke, you sub consciously lower your esteem. But there’s a larger problem at play

You are never able to be yourself. Belittling yourself on purpose is devoid of authenticity. The real you is always hiding. Hiding from the fear of judgement, fear of confronting your own character. You never let your true self one out in the open and that’s the farthest thing from self love.

You dont love yourself enough for the world to see who you really are. Because you are worried they may not like what they see. And that will cause immense stress on your self identity.

Of course, certain environments want you to fall in, fit in. The better ones realise you fit in but your real test is how you demonstrate your true self when its time.

Think of the military. You need to fit in as a group but your value lies in you upholding your personal standards, not just the military standards. And they nurture it. Hence the “Yes Sir” is said with pride and force unlike some meek show of agreement and a need to constantly suck up to your authorities.

When you start being authentic and give up on such self harm, you might find that you are not as liked as before. But you will have a new found respect, you will attract energies who are secure and love themselves.

According to social psychologist Timothy Owens, “People with high global self-esteem have self-respect and a feeling of worthiness, and yet acknowledge faults and shortcomings”.

As Denzel said , “Then don’t punch yourself in a word fight.”

Or, in any fight.